Shonen Sunday titles have gotten a lot of popularity over the past few years and one of its stand-out titles is Kotoyama’s Call of the Night, a comedy-drama anime/manga about what it’s like to possibly fall in love with a vampire. I’ve gotten to appreciate the various storylines and characters in a setting I’m fond of – nighttime in a modern urban environment with fantasy elements. 

I talked about one short storyline in a previous post about Call of the Night and this time, I want to talk about one of its most important characters, Anko Uguisu, a private detective who has a desire to take out all vampires. Mostly because of how her past trauma caused her to focus so much on one thing to the point that it robbed her of life.

Spoilers for later volumes of the manga after the jump.

Anko first appears in front of Ko Yamori, the protagonist, warning him about vampires after she learns about his association with Nazuna Nanakusa, a vampire that Ko grows fond of after she sucked his blood one time. Anko would become a looming presence throughout the series as she’s learned a trick or two to easily kill vampires. Readers later find out that Anko knew Nazuna a decade prior to the start of the series as she was once known as Kyoko Mejiro, a high school student who had a fondness for literature. Kyoko and Nazuna met at high school and it felt like love at first sight for Kyoko. She once wanted Nazuna to turn her into a vampire. It didn’t happen, but the two remained friends until Kyoko’s father suddenly was revealed to be a vampire during her birthday celebration. Kyoko was forced to kill her father in an act of self-defense. What makes things worse was that Kyoko’s mother was also killed by the father due to his vampiric urges. Nazuna witnesses the aftermath and Kyoko tells her that she hates all vampires now. Kyoko’s new identity, Anko Uguisu, was born after that incident.

Things come to a head in the present when Anko launches a grand attempt to out vampires to the public during a Halloween parade. She would attack notable vampires in an attempt to get Nazuna’s attention. Nazuna and Anko do confront one each other and the former is driven to kill her until Ko comes in at the last moment to stop them. He reveals that Anko wanted to die at Nazuna’s hands, so that her death would lead to a huge investigation of her past (including her father’s death) and evidence pointing to the existence of vampires. 

After the failure of her plan, Anko plans to shoot herself in the head after realizing what little she has left. Ko saves Anko in the last minute before she pulls the trigger. This wasn’t her first suicide attempt as she put a gun to her head before Halloween. She reconsidered after remembering her motivation to kill all vampires.

That motivation to live despite wanting to die is what I want to talk about. There’s many people who still struggle with suicidal ideation even after they have reasons to live. I myself sometimes find life to be unbearable. Like Anko, I don’t know why I’m still here and darkly joke about it. Anko would later talk to Ko after her suicide attempt about her reason to live. 

“I’ve lived every day of the past decade with only one goal in mind – killing vampires. My anger at the monster who killed my parents was my driving force. By directing that anger in vampires in general, I was able to keep going. Last night…I stopped being angry.”

“I’ve wanted to die for so long…My anger gave me a reason to live. But for some time now, I’ve been lying to myself.”

Anko would later say that Ko shouldn’t become like her as she hasn’t done anything meaningful in life since her parents’ death. Ko realizes that Anko was trying to save him in some way since he’s head-deep into the world of vampires – a world full of potential trauma due to their violent nature.

I can relate to Anko’s feelings because I get it. I sometimes felt that I haven’t accomplished anything significant in life according to modern standards. I’ve been driven by insecurities I struggle with today. I don’t want people to become like me. Those who get caught up in the comparison game know this first-hand. 

At the same time, some people I know view things differently. They tell me that I know how to be properly emotional, courageous and vulnerable at the right times to connect with people. Maybe those aren’t things that are click-worthy, but I know the world doesn’t promote intimacy the way I value it.

Also, being angry is warranted. There’s so much injustice in the world. It’s just easily to get so caught up in anger to the point of being the sole emotion driving you. For some of us, there’s probably things we’re still angry about in the past that affect us today. What makes anger scary is that it’s a drive that can leave you wanting for absolute resolution of everything that’s pissed you off at the cost of your own well-being. After reading what Anko said about her experiences, we have no good, productive and nuanced outlets in processing and talking about anger at all.

There’s something Ko says after saving Anko. He was talking to one of Nazuna’s vampire friends, Niko Hirata, and wonders if he did the right thing in saving her from suicide. Ko ponders the question over whether he has any right to tell a person what to do with their life after they went through something harsh. This is a hard question to answer, but I do know that people need comfort from other people. If they get the validation and compassion they truly need, then it’s okay to give them some life pointers.

Anko finally becomes a “normal human being” (in her own words) thanks to Ko, but she has lingering regrets about how her life has turned out. Anko’s development does tie into a bigger theme I noticed about Call of the Night – people being afraid of the night. A bunch of bad things do happen in nighttime hours and there are times where stray thoughts will arise, but there’s also moments of much-needed solitude that can be found after dark. Daytime hours often feel like a sprint without self-reflection. 

Quiet nights are great. But every once in a while (and especially when you’re at your worst), it’s even better to have someone at your side who doesn’t mind sitting in the darkness with you.