ALTI wonder. How many of you have met someone you loved due to your fandom and thought those were the best days of your life? What could be better, right? And then when life happens and suddenly that relationship ends for good, do you take your rage out on the interests that was supposed to bring you joy?
Reading about Akihiko Kaji and Ugetsu Murata’s complicated relationship in Given reminds me of how we often don’t have enough courage to end things when they should end and sometimes, the right person may not exactly be THE one. And it’s going to be okay.
Akihiko wanted to quit music because of his shame over sticking with Ugetsu despite very glaring flaws. But he realized how dumb it was to think that way. It took his bandmate (and new lover), Haruki Nakayama, to slowly open up to a healthier perspective.
I’m always reminded of why people ignore red flags in relationships. We think we can fix people. We believe that people can change with the right amount or won’t change despite whatever life brings.
While people can make you love things, they can make you hate things just as much. Hobbies can filled with drama due to various egos. But I feel that the scariest thing that leads to a disinterest in a hobby is when topics like competition, clout and money are brought into the picture. This is apparent when Akihiko notes how much he despised Ugetsu to a certain degree over his talent with the violin, an instrument he originally took seriously before his rock band career.
But Mafuyu Sato, who was ironically helped by Ugetsu, reached out to show how much music can be emotional in a good way with a powerful song during the band’s live performance tryout for a festival that spoke volumes. When relationships eventually fall apart, music can still give you a reason to keep moving forward.
Music isn’t supposed to be competitive and about hyper-consumerism; its innate purpose is to bring people together from all walks of life with song. I just read a study about a community-based effort to have people with disabilities learn to play music together. They had 3 different groups of people learn music and everyone came out better for it despite one group preferring art over music.
And the best part is that the music made people social and want to talk to one another.
Haruki was the social glue in Given as while he wasn’t the most talented of the band, he knew how to motivate them enough to keep at it together. That’s what made Akihiko really start to love him.
This year, I was like Akihiko and reminded how much I love music. Although I never played an instrument, I grew up with MTV in the 1990s’ and lived through what many fans my era would say was a really good decade. There was so much experimentation. I got into big beat/electronica and wanted to be an electronica DJ when I was in my early ‘20s.
My interest in music was on and off as I got older. I showed little to no interest in mainstream music. My soundtracks were mostly video game music. And then all of a sudden, I got into K-Pop because of NewJeans’ 2022 debut song, Attention. When I heard it, I felt such a strong sense of emotion like Akihiko felt when he heard Mafuyu’s song. I was taken back to my adolescence listening to 1990s’ music. I started to remember the days when it felt like everything was possible in a time when America was thriving.
Listening to that song slowly got me more interested in other K-Pop acts (mostly girl groups). The more I got into it, the more I remembered, “Oh yeah, this is why I REALLY love music. And I also want to move my body to it.” Why did I forget? Maybe because society has beaten into me that I need to act my age in order to stay competitive.
Now, I just dance whenever I can to the K-Pop songs I really like. I think the mental lock I put on myself because of failed relationships took so much out of me. But slowly, that grief has dissipated.
If you’re really into music (or anything that you’re interested in), cherish it and remember what got you hooked in the first place. Dance, sing, jump, go to concerts, shout with fans, etc. That’s what I want to say.
Like Given wants to tell its fans, let the love for music remain. Let the songs that resonate with our hearts be something that binds the strings of connection.